I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
