I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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