I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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