First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize