I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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