You just made me feel so damn special
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
