Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize