like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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