I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
