Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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