My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize