i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
