Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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