Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
