mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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