Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
