the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
