I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
