We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
