This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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