i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize