I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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