I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
