we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
