omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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