Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
