I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
