I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
