I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
