why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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