he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize