So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
