just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
