yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
