Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
