Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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