So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
