i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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