Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
