yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
