when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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