I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
