im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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