): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
