Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
