Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize