This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
