You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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