I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Can I color on your dick again?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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