OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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