she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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