So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
