i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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