Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
