yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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