I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
