I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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