I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
