This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
