I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
